We had our first fight.

Last night was horrible. It was probably the worst night I've had in Ireland, and that's the part I can actually remember. I had such a bad day. I didn't get the three month long job because they were looking to make the position permanent and wanted someone who could potentially stay on permanently. I mean, I didn't really want to commit to three months, but it would have at least given me some security. I went back to the hostel after work and started drinking by myself. We bought a huge bottle of Bacardi Black. I've actually never seen Bacardi Black. Do they even sell it in the states? It's so good. It's probably the best rum I've ever had. It's dark rum, but it's super smooth, and mixes incredibly well with Coke. But Darko was at a pub with Lionel and told me to come over. Well at that point I was already fairly drunk. I'd probably had the equivalent of three shots of rum, not too much but enough for a buzz, especially when I didn't eat dinner. I went to the pub and apparently Darko really wanted me to get the job cause when I told him I didn't get it because they wanted someone more permanent, he got really angry, and asked why I didn't lie and everything. I was really surprised at how mad he got. He seems to be so worried about my financial situation, like he's afraid he's going to have to support me or something like that. Let me set the record straight. I've NEVER asked him for money or even acted like I needed money, so I don't know where it was all coming from. He just kept getting angrier and angrier. I think he was thinking more long term, like if I can't get a working visa, he'll have to support me if he wants me to stay longer. I said "Oh, so that's why you're so angry. You don't want me to leave". But he was pissed off at that point and so he replied with a wave of his hand.

So from that point on the night just kept getting worse. He was in a horrible mood the whole time and then we had to walk for like three miles to get something from a friend of his. Then we came back to the hostel, and I was just completely trashed. And then, we brought something other than alcohol into the mix, which made it even worse, because you see, he went straight to sleep. That's right. He got me completely trashed, ready to have fun, and then he passed out. So, we all know how touchy I am when I'm trashed, had he been awake I would have been all over him. As it was, I apparently found some other guy to keep me entertained. I'm not sure how, but I ended up in the bathroom with this shirtless australian fellow. Nothing happened because I can remember everything up to that point. But I can't say for sure that nothing would have happened. Darko woke up at that point, came into the bathroom, and that did not turn out well. I can't blame him though. His girlfriend in a bathroom with a shirtless australian, doesn't really look good. He just looked at me and went back to bed.

Everything after that is completely gone. Apparently, from what some friends have told me, I came downstairs and just made a complete fool of myself until the night porter made me go back upstairs. Haha. I woke up this morning with Darko in bed. I was completely clothed, which was a good thing. I usually see my Swedish friends at night and I woke up this morning wondering why I hadn't seen them. However, I had apparently hung out with them for like an hour last night, and just can't remember. Fucking stupid. I was so close to ruining things last night, it's just retarded. Like, I don't even really want to think about it.

But we woke up this morning, and talked, and I told Darko not to leave me alone when I'm wasted, and that he has to understand how I am when I'm inebriated. I also explained that anything that does happen when I'm like that doesn't mean anything, and that I don't actually want to act like that, but it's gonna happen, and he just needs to be there when it does. Because ALL of my attention would have been on him had he been there. I did apologize and he did too, and we worked it out. Then he told me to check my messages on my phone. He got so mad last night that he broke up with me. Yup. He texted me "Katie, we're finished, I'll tell you this in person as well". I couldn't believe it. It's probably a good thing that I didn't get the text last night because I'm not sure how I would have reacted, but I said "You broke up with me? Are you gonna break up with me every time I make you angry". He said no, that last night was just really bad, and I said yes it was, but I'll try not to let it get that out of hand from now on. But I do need his support when I get wasted like that. I think he understands, but I suppose we'll have to see next time whether or not he REALLY understands.

Today we didn't do anything. He's been upstairs sleeping most of the day. I layed down with him for a while, but then came down to get online and talk with Daniel and Kaveh, the Swedes.

I'll close this now, and leave you with some fairwell pictures....